An Ode to Tiger Tiwari

Till the last count, golfer Tiger Woods had 13 mistresses in the US. Singer Jessica Simpson denied that she had anything to do with a Tiger who could not keep his paws to himself. And these are just confined to the US. If we keep in mind his enormous sexual appetite and extrapolate it, then it is possible to say that Tiger could have as many as 50 mistresses all over the world - possibly one around each of the top golf courses of the world. It is surprising that Tiger's wife, Elin, woke up to his philandering after five years of marriage. It seems she spent more time watching his TV ads showing him as an epitome of perfection and virtuosity and did not see his dark, wayward side. He would have continued to hang out with pretty waitresses, female escorts and other gold-diggers if his wife had not rifled through his mobile phone inbox. Tabloid reports suggest that his wife chased him with a club and walloped his butt. So scared was Tiger for his well worked out muscles and swinging arms that he ran inside his car, drove like a punch drunk pugilist and rammed into a hydrant and a tree. Since then, Tiger is trying to clamber out of adeep hole - not the kind he was famous for putting the golf balls.

There have been many such Tigers in Indian politics who just refuse to give up their compulsive womanising even when they have been caught literally with their pants or dhotis around their ankles. Andhra Pradesh Governor Narain Dutt Tiwari, 85, who has been trapped in a sting operation cavorting with three nubile women in the safe confines of the Raj Bhavan, could be an inspiration for the likes of Tiger Woods. In 85 years of his active life, Tiwari, if he is able to get out of his age-related amnesia, would be able to tot up more mistresses than the young golfer could ever dream of. The venerable governor, whose staff restrained the telecast of his romp on a local Andhra TV channel, has a reputation of sowing his oats all over the place. He has been engaged in a paternity suit with the son of one Ujjwala Sharma, who claims to be his wife. It was this angry lady who gave him hell when he went missing a few years ago till he was found holed up in a guest house with another woman. Tiwari's glad eye is legendary. His successor in UP, late Vir Bahadur Singh, got his office sofas washed with the holy water of Ganga, claiming to every one that they had been used for all kinds of purposes.

A rather healthy Tiwari, who has resigned on health grounds, was an extremely competent and accomplished politician and administrator and it is possible that he was chased by ambitious women trying to extract favours out of him. It is possible that Tiwari could not say no to anyone - even if it made his late wife, Dr Sushila Tiwari, wild. Old-timers in Lucknow recall his wife doing an Elin on him on a few occasions. As is the way of Indian politics, his sexual peccadilloes did not come in his way of occupying important positions in the government.

We had a few former prime ministers who loved their wine and women. Atal Behari Vajpayee, celebrated by the BJP and even the opposition parties as God's good man, lived openly for many years with his friend's wife. Recently, some choice abuses hurled at him by Congress leader, Beni Prasad Verma, compelled Prime Minister Manmohan Singh to apologise in Parliament. PV Narasimha Rao too was rumoured to be having a glad eye. There have been other prime ministers in the past whose handlers shooed away journalists and hangers-on as soon as pretty women came visiting their leader.

It is possible to argue that as long as politicians and public figures decide to sleep around without manipulating or exploiting the women, then there is nothing wrong. Tiger Wood's golf swing may have become better after his adulterous behavior, but the same cannot be said about some of our politicians, whose financial and physical needs were met by corporate houses desperate to get favours from the government. Most of these politicians have been living a life of blackmail, and if Tiwari's grainy images on television is anything to go by - loving it.