Published: July 17, 2014 - 13:22 Updated: August 13, 2014 - 17:17

I regret to inform you that I cannot criticise the Dear Leader (even children are being arrested for creating anti-Modi crossword puzzles in college mags these days). Don’t worry, though. I’m not going to go as far as our spineless mediawallahs and clap and cheer over every little thing he does.

Here is an example of our media’s excesses (they sound just like proud mummies, don’t they?):

“Oh, look, he tied his shoelaces himself – and what a perfect bow!”

Oh, okay, they haven’t got as far as that yet – but mind you, they’re getting there! And they’re shameless hypocrites to boot.

Take Pakistan. If former Prime Minister Manmohan Singh dared to chat with Pakistan, the media ticked him off in no uncertain terms. Arnab Goswami of Times Now, in particular, foamed at the mouth like he’d been bitten by a pack of rabid dogs.

However, when Modi cosies up to Pakistan, he’s hailed as a statesman! Look at all that giddy excitement over the invitation to Pakistan’s Prime Minister for Modi’s glitzy coronation. And the ominous white sari Nawaz Sharif sent for Modi’s mummyji as a thank you present, instead of the head of a decapitated Indian soldier (Lance Naik Hemraj Singh) that his grieving mother wanted. A friend on Twitter has captured the hypocrisy of the BJP (and the
media) beautifully:


The media is also oddly silent about Modi’s silence on subjects that the nation holds dear: rapes (including an alleged rapist, Nihalchand Meghwal, in his Cabinet), riots, the murder of a young techie in Pune because he wore his religion on his face, Indians stranded in Iraq, rising prices, etc etera. Fortunately, the lovely people on Twitter have more backbone than the mediawallahs. It has been duly noted that Maunmohan Singh has been replaced by Maunendra Modi, and a parody account is already in place.

Personally, I’m glad that Modi stays silent because when he talks he makes foolish mistakes. We were exposed to so many during his election campaign, and now we’re hugely embarrassed because he’s started making those mistakes abroad as well. I’m still blushing with shame as I recall that instance in Bhutan when Modi addressed the assembly. He first called it Nepal. A short while later, he referred to it as Ladakh, gasp – part of our own country! As @rsaroja70 on Twitter says, ‘It is better he keeps his mouth shut. He will outdo Sarah Palin.’

Interestingly, when some of our esteemed mediawallahs dared to report on their Dear Leader’s gaffes, they hid behind Twitter. The headlines (from a few of the wimpish newspapers/online mags) were:

The Hindu: “Twitterati pounce on Modi Gaffes”

International Business Times: “Modi’s ‘Nepal’ Gaffe in Bhutanese Parliament Causes Uproar on Twitter” “PM Modi’s ‘Nepal’ Slip in Bhutan Fires Up Twitter”

You catch my drift? It’s about time our mainstream media stopped hiding behind social media and stood up for itself!

And now on to positive things: The Dear Leader in a pretty, pretty speech exhorted us to point out his flaws. I am not stupid enough to fall for it and hang out with young crossword puzzle enthusiasts in jail. Instead, I will criticise his team of writers.

May I say that those funny little B2B & B4B terms that his writers invent show the Dear Leader in a poor light? B for Bhutan and Bharat sounds like he’s just learning the alphabet. That annoying alliteration must stop too. Once again, his writers make him sound like he’s reciting childish desi versions of ‘She sells sea shells on the sea shore’. Oh, grow up guys!

Finally, please don’t forget to pack memory tabs for the Dear Leader on his next foreign trip to Jakarta, sorry, Geneva – oops, Japan!   


This story is from print issue of HardNews