Parade of bigots and Trumpists

Published: April 7, 2016 - 18:42

Stop the world – I want to get off now! It appears to be taking a sharp turn to the ugly right, with bigots, fascists, fundamentalists, dictators and other mad people in charge. Parts of the Middle East and Africa are worse off than before, what with the nasty ISIS, Boko Haram and other terrorist organisations on a murdering, raping rampage. China and Russia are more or less as dictatorial as before. Turkey is on a slow roast with Erdogan bossing it around and as for India, sigh – I’ll get to that later. Canada seems to be the only bright spot on the globe with Justin Trudeau at the helm and my God, we’re so envious!

Since I’m in a bad mood, I’ve decided to stop hoping that Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton will be the next President of the US. See, I’m tired of seeing photographs of American presidents (including President Obama) hugging evil people and showering praise on them. If they love bigots/dictators/fascists/fundamentalists so much, let Donald Trump become the next President. So there!

I imagine that America under Trump will be a lot like India since the 2014 general election. His bile-spewing supporters are just like our Dear Leader’s bhakts, his hate speeches are more or less the same (anyone remember ‘Hum paanch, hamare pachees?’), and, wow, he’s even won the support of the grisly Ku Klux Klan. As we say colloquially in India, ‘same to same’. What interests me most is that his election slogan is so much like our Dear Leader’s slogan: Achhe din (good days). My advice to American citizens is to look at India today. Instead of good days, all we’ve got is a raucous din over things like nationalism, archaic sedition laws,  ‘Love jihad’, ‘Ghar wapsi’, a ban on beef (which has led to murders over rumours) and much more to be terribly unhappy about. Keeping that in mind, Americans should realise that Trump’s ‘Make America great again’ slogan has misspelled ‘great’. What he really means is, ‘Make America grate again’. Back to the bad old days of segregation, lynchings, and so on.

That apart, I’m very curious about the other side of Trump: his flashy part. I wonder if he will tear down the grand old White House and erect another presidential palace in its place: a trashy new White Towers, perhaps? Will he be friendlier towards countries that give his real estate company big contracts? Will he finally hire a proper hair stylist? A lot has been written about Trump’s hair, hands and other unimportant parts of his anatomy. Can we focus on his brain (or lack of it), please?

The UK is another allegedly liberal country that kowtows to bigots/dictators/fascists/fundamentalists too. Fortunately, their nasty nationalist parties have not won elections yet, but with Prime Minister David Cameron’s popularity on the decline (despite wooing the Dear Leader’s British Indian supporters by dancing at Wembley to Bollywood songs and sending them love letters to win their bigoted hearts), there’s no telling what may happen in the future.

I’m no fan of Cameron. In fact, I’m appalled at the way he’s turning the UK into a sort of Disneyland by giving bigots/dictators/fascists/fundamentalists rides in the royal carriage and forcing the dear old Queen to dine with them. Sure, the British Royals have always been a part of the UK’s hand-waving, hand-shaking diplomatic team, but to reduce them to this – gosh.

Now back to my desire to get off the world. It’s not just the nastiness of right-wingers that terrifies me – it’s their stupidity too. A recent study has revealed that right-wingers are less intelligent than left-wingers. Perhaps that’s some food for thought.

This story is from print issue of HardNews