The End of Darkness is Nigh

Published: March 27, 2018 - 18:04

I’ve started feeling cheerful again. Not surprising when you consider that there’s only one more year left of the BJP at the centre, hooray, whoopee, doopie doo! I’m hoping that citizens have become wise to their
wily ways.

The BJP promised Vikas, but I suspect Vikas despises them as much as I do which is why he quickly ran away. No one can find him, not even the CBI. Anyway, the CBI is much too busy harassing the BJP’s opponents.  One phone call from the Dear Leader or his scary sidekick, and they’re ringing your doorbell like kids on Halloween. They have the tricks, the BJP will give them the treats, and you have no choice but to fight them in court.

The BJP promised jobs. All people have got so far are thirty to forty rupees per nasty tweet if they’re part of its devious IT cell. Now we’ve been told to stop hounding the government for jobs and to go sell pakodas instead. I think they’re hoping that with millions of people selling pakodas, most Indians will die of heart attacks and soon there will be more jobs than people around! Mission accomplished.

The BJP promised an end to black money. We’re now not sure whether to laugh or cry. How is it that a party that wins only two seats in a state can form the government? Where do they get all that money from to buy other parties, is what any thinking Indian should ask. Please note, our media isn’t thinking anymore, so it’s really left to us to ask the questions.

The BJP promised a corruption-free India. And we’re scratching our heads and wondering who advised mega loan defaulters like Vijay Mallya, Nirav Modi, Mehul Choksi and others to flee the country before they were arrested. It wasn’t me or you, for sure. Let’s see, who on earth would be notified of these shocking bank robberies first, hmm?


  The BJP promised jobs. All people have got so far are thirty to forty rupees per nasty tweet if they’re part of its devious IT cell.

The BJP promised transparency. All we’ve got are lies, obfuscation and secretive electoral bonds so that no one knows who contributed to their election campaign. The RTI Act is being watered down. Serious cases against chief ministers like Yogi Adityanath are being dropped. I could go on and on, but then I’ll start feeling depressed again, so I’m leaving it here.

Let’s talk about Anna Hazare instead. Dear old Anna who launched a raucous anti-corruption movement (India against Corruption) that went national before the 2014 elections at the behest of the RSS-BJP. It was yet another of the RSS-BJP’s slimy tactics to win the elections. Anna Hazare is threatening to go on another fast now, but trust me, it won’t get any traction. For starters, the media will not cover anyone or anything that criticises the BJP. On the flip side, Anna doesn’t have to eat masala usal-misal in secret while ‘fasting’ because cameras won’t be trained on him. As for us, we’ve seen through him. He’s over.

India against Corruption (IAC) brings me to Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal—he was a yowling star then and he interacted with RSS-BJP chaps on the progress of the campaign. He can’t deny this because it is on record that he visited Vivekanada International Foundation, a not-so-hallowed place where members of the Sangh Parivar meet and pretend to be intellectuals. Kejriwal has been very busy writing letters of apology to all the people who have filed defamation cases against him. If he has one iota of decency in him, he really should write a letter of apology to Indian citizens for lying that IAC was non-partisan and for sending emails begging us to vote for “Modi as PM, Kejriwal as CM” soon after he launched the Aam Aadmi Party. I’m still waiting for that email, Mr. Kejriwal, so hurry up!    

This story is from print issue of HardNews